Lets talk burn out

Authenticity is my game. I am an open book and so I thought I would share my recent experience with you all, one business owner to another as I am sure it will resonate with some of you. The last year or so has been harder for business owners than normal, so maybe this will hit a note with more folks than usual.

As a small business where your work and income relies on you and your skills, and you and your skills alone - stopping or falling ill is the worst possible outcome right? so we work bloody hard and we give it our all. And honestly I freaking Iove my job, it brings me joy. But my job and my business is only one factor in my life. And everything in my life affects my business, you know what I am on about don’t you? Of course you do. So I wanted to talk about burn out.

If you give ‘Burn out’ a good google it’ll tell you this:

‘Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.’

When you ask Google to tell you what it FEELS like, it tells you that warning signs are ‘exhaustion’ or ‘when you hate your job’. But we live in a world where tired is the norm. In a world where thousands of us are doing a job we don’t particularly love to bring in money during a pandemic that’s put our dream job on hold. What does it really feel like? What are the warning signs?

Last night I sat in a hospital GP office at midnight and as I strained to hear my lovely, softy spoken doctor explain to me why I have had chest pain, migraine symptoms, nausea, overwhelming dizziness, and tingles down my left arm for a week, I caught the words burn out.

He explained to me that I am experiencing a high level of anxiety which triggered a monster of a brain stem migraine, and the anxiety symptoms on top of the monster of the migraine has left me in the state that had me have a video call, a phone call and two face to face doctor appointments in 4 days. And lead me to postpone my long awaited first COVID vaccine jab.

He told me that I had been over exercising and overworking for my body and basically depleted all my reserves. I had been gently telling folks over the month ‘I’m sorry I am low on spoons’ but here the doctor was telling me I was all out.

I had been sent in because my symptoms could be anything from brain worries to heart worries, the big stuff right? the scary stuff and my stress levels which were already close max were going up yet another level.

Let me explain, those who know me will know I played roller derby for 5 years. A contact sport on roller skates. It is wonderful, fun, challenging and gives you a community of excellent human beings. But, it’s risky. It’s risky because there is a general lack of understanding, education and policy within the teams about returning to the sport after a concussion. And I had 5. Each time I was encouraged, or even nagged to return to practise in light of upcoming games and because I loved the game and I loved the team I did. It’s on me. Each concussion was worse, leaving me - years later  - with ongoing tinnitus, frequent migraines, severe car sickness, anxiety and a few less friends who would not or could not understand the pain and brain fog I was in for what totalled to be 27 months of my 20s with severe concussion.

Due to this, having a period of 5 days with a blinding headache and constant dizziness is scary. I’ve felt like I’ve smashed 2 bottles of wine a night every night since Monday without drinking a drop. It is scary.

I’ve been experiencing high stress. In the last year, I have fought to keep my business alive, took a very demanding full-time job, worried and provided for my family who live in a third world country and tried my best to support friends going through periods of depression and crisis. The week off I had last October transformed from holiday leave to sick leave as I recovered from an appendectomy. And a global pandemic, you say? yep, that too.

The warning signs for me were there, my OCD flared up, I got so overwhelmed by the number of messages on my phone and their contents, I uninstalled every app people could communicate to me on for a week and had to meditate on how selfish I felt about it. I said out loud to my partner when he told me to think about happy things in the bid to lower my heart rate mid anxiety attack ‘No thought feels safe’. But I pushed on because I felt like I was selfish if I didn’t, and that I wasn’t really doing enough.

So now we get to the juicy bit. Boundaries, perfectionism and being a highly sensitive Empath.

Burn out is: Not setting boundaries, not managing my tendency to do everything and do it perfectly and lastly needing to fix everything for everyone else.

Burn out is: Not resting because you feel like you haven’t done enough to deserve it, always answering that message, and making yourself constantly available for negative talk.

Burn out is: Spending your energy reserve on others when you need to put your oxygen mask on first.

Preventing burn out is: taking the time to make a good meal rather than spending that time on your phone fire fighting for others then grabbing a snack before your next meeting.

Preventing burn out is: acknowledging and accepting that you need rest, and you might need more rest than others

As pubs fling open their doors, and the band starts up in the theatre, the barber shops begin to buzz, the closed signs are flipped over and the smell of popcorn hits the streets. I am going to snuggle up at home and rest. Cos I like to be at my best!

Running a business is incredibly taxing. And my friends, we need to REST emotionally, physically and mentally to be the best badass business owners we can be.

Let this be your cautionary tale and reminder to:

Rest

Recharge

Say no

Set those boundaries unapologetically

Put yourself first when it’s necessary to do so.

I always say personal branding photography, authenticity and being visible are the most important tools for you as a business owner. Today I am adding rest to that list!